| I spent the entire day in the spot where you earlier lay |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009 x 05:56 pm] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | Arctic Monkeys - Cornerstone | ] |
I really wish I had a better memory, as I can hardly remember a thing from last night. It's extremely frustrating. I was informed a few minutes ago that I came home very drunk and that I threw up a lot, and that there was blood? I don't remember. I'm so sick of not remembering. I usually wake up with a healthy dose of self-loathing, and it usually dissipates by the afternoon. Today, it still lingers now. I kinda want to die. There was no way I'd be able to make it to work, much less be at all productive. When I woke up again it was dark outside. Let's turn this around! You know what? Yeah! I don't like feeling like this, so I won't. I'm going to take a nice hot shower, grab a beer, grab my pipe and finish writing this song. Fuck it. Plus, I'm going to have an awesome dinner, I think. I hope. Actually, I think I will skip the beer. I should probably take a break from drinking.
Question: how do you go about finishing a song when you've got a different one stuck in your head? It's not that I don't want this song to be in my head, cos it's so great, but... it is distracting. Never mind, I think I can do it. |
|
|
| I pretend like no one else to try to control myself |
[Nov. 20th, 2009 x 12:58 pm] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | Interpol - Not Even Jail | ] |
I saw Paul Banks last night. If any man can make me forget that I have a drink in my hand, it's him.
I wish my first time seeing him perform would have been with Interpol (I was, in fact, wishing it were Interpol the entire time), but this was still great. I was dying for them to play an Interpol song - any one of them. Any one of them, and I would have lost it. I don't think I'd ever been that excited at a show before. I think the closest was Mew. That was an excellent, excellent show. I don't think I was even this stoked when we saw Hyde (for some reason I remember the San Francisco show much more prominently than the House of Blues), and I was still way into L'Arc at that time. Maybe, again, because it wasn't L'Arc.
They covered the Pixies. Out of nowhere he sang, "The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful." They also played Horse With No Name with a distinctly Interpol flavor to it. Very interesting interpretation, laugh laugh laugh. Overall, the energy level left a lot to be Desired, but it didn't matter much to me; I finally got to see one of my idols perform. I wasn't prepared for the plaid, though, I'll admit. I'm going to spare any potential readers the rest of my thoughts on Paul Banks. I'm just gonna say that I had a great time last night. |
|
|
| the Seven SinS of england |
[Nov. 17th, 2009 x 10:50 am] |
In May 2007, the British TV station Channel 4 aired an exploration of the “seven sins of England,” to analyze the roots and endurance of “historical chavvery.” These seven sins were:
BINGE DRINKING, SLAGGISHNESS, CONSUMERISM, HOOLIGANISM, VIOLENCE, RUDENESS, BIGOTRY.
Happiness is a warm puppy.
-Charles M. Schulz |
|
|
| what else would you do? |
[Nov. 17th, 2009 x 10:46 am] |
|
Oh, paranoia. Paranoia and grief. Paranoia and imagined grief. Paranoia and imagined grief and real pain. Paranoia and imagined grief and real pain and real relief. |
|
|
| superb, exquisite, incredible |
[Nov. 15th, 2009 x 07:32 pm] |
lostjaven: Hey.
me: hello
lostjaven: How are you?
me: I am great.
so great.
how are you?
lostjaven: You're great?
Awesome.
I'm pretty fantastic.
me: spectacular.
lostjaven: Magnificent.
me: Fabulous.
lostjaven: Grandiose.
me: Excellent.
lostjaven: stupendous
me: Marvelous.
lostjaven: You had that shit ready to go, didn't you?
me: I can do this all night. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 15th, 2009 x 12:08 pm] |
Seven things are absolutely necessary to maintain or restore health:
Fresh air; light; warmth; rest; cleanliness; and the correct selection and well-timed offering of food and drink.
The lack of only one of these requisites may hinder the exercise of a physician’s skill and bring to naught both good-will and wisdom. |
|
|
| I wanted to save this for a rainy day but oh well |
[Nov. 14th, 2009 x 03:06 pm] |
| [ | Mr. Cat is |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | Ambush!! Ambush!! | ] |
Seven things necessary when the rain prevents us from pursuing our usual occupations:
A shelter, a purse, a stove, a cup of wine, preceded by a bit of meat, a tender maid, and a cloak. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2009 x 02:47 pm] |
|
How do you feel about road trips? I was even closer this week to being ready to just keep on driving when my exit approaches. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2009 x 03:51 pm] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | The Apples In Stereo - Go | ] |
I'll make it easy for you: You are going to hate whatever it is you need to do to make money because you know you need to do it to make money.
This isn't to say that I hate my job, but in my head this applies to the act of chasing passions and turning them into careers. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side, maybe even edible, but then we get there and it's like "Who the fuck cares about this grass? I just want to listen to music. And I'm hungry. I can't eat this fucking grass."
Just so I don't seem like I'm whining, I'd like to say that I feel very, very blessed for this very, very easy job that makes it so much easier to live. I mean, I got a bonus today! And my dad's birthday is this weekend, so I think I'll use this bonus to get him a really nice wine.
Yes, I did manage to pull off "whine" and "wine" in the same paragraph! |
|
|
| Is there a hand to take hold of the scene? |
[Nov. 4th, 2009 x 12:03 pm] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | Okkervil River - A Hand To Take Hold Of The Scene | ] |
I'm a band in a show about a man holding hands with his wife on a therapist's couch, with his face to the ground (after fucking around countless nights) and there's this one episode, close-up cameras are showing him crying; his red head and his red eyes.
I'm a band in a show about a boy being buried alive, from his head to his toes, by a criminal (but with a sensitive soul!) with a set of raccoon eyes, and there's this scene in the show when a hustler knows he's going to die. The ground opens and he climbs inside. And as he speaks his last line, a thought falls from his mind and I pick it up right through the TV: Is there a hand to take hold of the scene?
I'm a man in a dream and there, dancing in front of my eyes, is a queen formed out of flaws, with her eyes all gone odd and a rod bolted into her spine. She rises up like a yawn. She grips my heart like a claw. She splits apart like a jaw, like an eye. And she asks me with a sigh, "When we're so far from right, when we're losing the fight, when we're letting the light weaken its beam, is there a hand to take hold of the scene?"
I want a smile like a glistening shard. I want a kiss that's as sharp as a knife. The day expires, and the dry, cracked, trembling lips God saw fit to put this kiss inside, I lift them up to you. I'd like to bear witness to a light that is fine and is filling the cryingest eyes, grace in each face that is making the wastedest, brokenest ones fairly fly, love that is innocent of that old cynical, covetous, cancerous vibe, and a beauty that annihilates all life like it's lived in these nights, holding your hatred tight like a sign that you're right or you're strong. When your doors are shut tight, I will dream you tonight, and my dream will just sweep you along. When all fires are fanned, when we're shucking our plans, when we're too weak to stand on our two feet, is there a hand to take hold of the scene? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2009 x 02:13 pm] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | PIANO MAN!?? | ] |
Son, can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes, but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete when I wore a younger man's clothes.
I think Sprite is a liar, and that it DOES have caffeine in it, cos I feel funny. Could be in my head. Could be the sugar.
The orange I have here is really soft and fragrant, telling me it's more than ripe. If I try to peel it, I bet I'll make a mess. But I can't just throw it away; that's a waste. |
|
|
| you're all I've got tonight / peace be with you |
[Oct. 27th, 2009 x 12:11 am] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | Houndstooth Radio ! ! ! | ] |
me: I dont think I can go to bed without having a poptart
lostjaven: []
lostjaven: There
me: LOL
me: angelic poptarts.
me: holy poptarts
lostjaven: Holy Pop Tarts
me: blessed art thou amongst poptarts
lostjaven: Hahaha
lostjaven: Stop.
me: and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, strawberry
lostjaven: Oh my God.
You know, today's been a good day... kind of. Mostly. Like, 84%... That's a good solid B. I'll take it.
Don't need a gun to blow your mind oh no, oh no :D
Hey, I think we should go camping sometime soon. Before winter. |
|
|
| vodka |
[Oct. 26th, 2009 x 08:51 am] |
| [ | Location |
| | "work" | ] |
| [ | Mr. Cat is |
| |  vodka | ] |
vodka in the morning
vodka in the morning
vodka at morning time
when vodka's in the morning
you can have vodka in the morning |
|
|
| I hate you but I love you |
[Oct. 25th, 2009 x 01:21 pm] |
| [ | Mr. Cat is |
| |  get me a beer | ] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | The Gun Club - Ghost on the Highway | ] |
Having a very good weekend. Had some bad things happen psychologically, but it's been balanced out by other moments of peace of mind and appreciation of...shit in general.
Slowly improving with bass. I've decided I'll start taking lessons Next Year (when I have enough money to do so). I recorded myself singing the other day and decided that I hate my voice. Maybe I'll take vocal lessons as well. Maybe, while I'm at it, I'll take not-fucking-up lessons as well.
I finished reading Slapstick. It had a lot of moments. Brought up a lot of good points. But I think I liked Cat's Cradle better. Events and characters felt more tangible. I usually like abstract, but I don't know. Shhhhh. Go get me a beer. |
|
|
| and let me try with pleasured hands to take you and the sun to promised lands |
[Oct. 21st, 2009 x 08:56 pm] |
| [ | Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | Mr. Cat is |
| |  how it is | ] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | The Zombies - Time of the Season | ] |
We had to learn how to want to please. Uh oh, caffeine. Run away before your legs collapse from under you. Maybe I don't know what I want, but why do I have to? I don't think I have to know what I want so much as I have to know what I don't want, and I think I've got that down. I don't like to let people determine how I'm going to feel, but most of the time there is as much you can do about that as you can stop global warming. Uh... I like to ignore my problems until they resolve themselves, but I've been getting better at not running away.
I love my lunch breaks. I don't love that it's only half an hour now, but I love the park I break at. Breaking park. Break. Park. Parking brake. Words are fun. I like to park in the shade of the maple trees, with the windows down, the ipod playing and the sunroof open. During my lunch breaks I've been reading Slapstick by Kurt Vonnegut. I used to be able to cover quite a bit, but now that my breaks are 30 minutes, I've only been able to get through a couple chapters at a time :/ It's really strange, but really endearing. At home I'm reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho that John lent me (thank you), but I have to admit I haven't made much progress. Still, I like it so far. It makes me happy.
I was asked once if I thought I had a drinking problem (no, I'm not drunk). I spoke defensively yet confidently, though I knew I wasn't very free of guilt, either. But it's really not as bad as all that. My drinking problems come and go with my states and right now I'm in a good one (no, I am not drinking as I type this) speaking of states, I need to get out and see some more of these 50 plots of Shitland, USA. Of course I need to see the rest of the world, too, and I'm dying to, but I feel I should also definitely explore the places close to me (and whose inhabitants speak english. I like socializing. I lied, I am drinking as I type this). I'm great, how are you? |
|
|
| why do I avoid sleep? |
[Oct. 21st, 2009 x 09:57 am] |
When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream
Please don't wake me, no
don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping
Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy
Running everywhere at such a speed
Till they find, there's no need
Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping
Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time
Lying there and staring at the ceiling
Waiting for a sleepy feeling
Please don't spoil my day
I'm miles away
And after all
I'm only sleeping
Keeping an eye on the world going by my window
Taking my time
When I wake up early in the morning,
Lift my head, I'm still yawning
When I'm in the middle of a dream
Stay in bed, float up stream
Please don't wake me, no
don't shake me
Leave me where I am
I'm only sleeping |
|
|
| pizza |
[Oct. 21st, 2009 x 09:41 am] |
| [ | Location |
| | "work" | ] |
| [ | Mr. Cat is |
| |  pizza | ] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | shut up shut up shut up | ] |
pizza in the morning
pizza in the morning
pizza at morning time
when pizza's in the morning
you can have pizza in the morning |
|
|
| we were gonna live it out |
[Oct. 19th, 2009 x 11:10 pm] |
| [ | Location |
| | on my cloud | ] |
| [ | Mr. Cat is |
| | chill as fuck | ] |
| [ | Pretty noise |
| | silly kingdom | ] |
Charming charming charming. My skin hates me. I remember when my skin stopped being as soft as it used to. Yes, I like to touch my own face. Don't judge me.
I wonder what it's like to find a long-lost sibling.
I need to get a mask. Preferably by the end of this week. Sentence fragment. I'd rather buy one in person than over the internet, because you can't really feel textures otherwise; everything just seems to feel like a monitor. Besides, I just really like touching stuff in stores. I like poking things to see how heavy they are.
la's being adorable. I pinch its cheeks in the morning. When life hands you oranges, make lemonade anyway. Reuel's getting his brain stained, train sprained and he's getting his stones owned. I'm quoting him directly, don't give me that look.
( Today was good and frustrating. ) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
anakalia_grey's journal
content